


Glitter And Gold

by bastiankurts (orphan_account)



Series: Glitter and Gold 'verse [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 02:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bastiankurts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a month of arguing and bickering with one another, Elliott is fed up and tired with the way that Kurt treats him within the band. So much so, that he decides to finally confront him properly about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glitter And Gold

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr, but due to the slight length of this work, I've decided to archive it here as it's own standalone work also.

“No, no, stop. Everybody, stop.”

At the interruption, everyone in the group paused what it was that they had been previously doing. Dani had stopped playing her guitar, instead letting her hand fall from where she had been strumming at the strings on the instrument whilst continuing to hold it still with her other hand. Rachel, Santana and Elliott had all gone quiet, those that had been mid-song beforehand moving to lower their microphones down slightly from where they had been singing into them.

All four sets of eyes drifted to the direction of where Kurt was, the group watching him as he was shaking his head, moving away from where he had just been standing in line with them all and instead turning so that he could stand in front of them and face them all better. 

A mixture of confusion and irritation was written across the other four faces, the most annoyed of them all being Santana, who was (as usual) quick to speak her mind first. 

“What the hell, Kurt? We sounded amazing just now!” 

“No, we really didn’t,” Kurt replied, shaking his head once again and reaching his hand up to rub at his forehead, before turning his attention to face the group with a firm expression.

“Are you … going to keep doing this? Because I’m pretty sure that the last three times you interrupted a practice performance today, none of us could figure out what the problem was then either,” Dani asked. Her words were laced more in what seemed to be confusion than it was annoyance like Santana’s before had been, and the way that she had raised her free hand in the air slightly echoed that sentiment.

“Yeah,” Elliott agreed, turning from where he had been watching Dani as she spoke to face where Kurt was standing before them. “I mean, we took onboard all your earlier criticism. We really can’t be sounding  _that_  terrible at the moment. Shouldn’t we be improving upon our sound by now?”

At the words the other man had spoken, Kurt sent Elliott a glare, before letting his eyes glance over the rest of the group for a long moment. Eventually however Kurt spoke up again, his own irritation flowing strongly within him and with what it was he had to say.

“We’re not as good as we should be sounding right now,” He began, before moving his own hand and gesturing to where Rachel was standing beside Elliott’s to Kurt’s left. “Rachel sounds perfect, as always. In fact everyone sounds good when it comes to singing solo’s. But other than that?” Kurt paused for a second, turning his attention to drift onto Dani. “I know you said that you were helping Santana to learn the chords, but at the moment I can’t really hear the sound of the guitar above all of the singing that’s going on. And that’s not because of you in any way --” He turned back to the rest of the group once more. “ it’s because most of the sounds and other voices are being drowned out. All I can hear when we’re singing as a group is  _you two_. No one else.”

Kurt’s pointed look as he finished speaking had fallen directly onto Rachel and Elliott. Both expressions changed as he spoke, Rachel’s was reminiscent to the expression she often wore during her High School days whenever she was told she was hogging the spotlight from other people, whereas Elliott’s frown seemed to deepen at what it was Kurt had said.

“What are you talking about Hummel? I can hear everyone’s voices perfectly fine when we’re in harmony,” Santana asked, still as irked -- if not more so -- as she had been before.

“That’s because you’re only focusing on hearing the sound of your  _own_  voice, Santana,” Kurt replied, shooting her a look and frowning more himself. “I can barely hear Dani from where I’m standing, let alone myself, especially with  _Starchild_  here adding all the extra unnecessary  _‘woahs’_  and  _‘yeahs’_  to every song we work on.” 

Santana rolled her eyes at Kurt’s words, before turning to look at Dani and sharing an expression with her that explained that they had both listened to such rants one too many times by now. 

“Kurt, come on --” 

“I think --” Dani cut in, interrupting Rachel and causing her and the others to turn their attention to where she was standing. “maybe it would be a good idea for a time out for everyone right now? We have been practicing for a while, a few minutes break could do us all some good and make us less aggravated.”

A pause settled over the group at Dani’s words, and the tension that everyone was feeling was spreading, filling the air in the room around them. After a long moment moment however Kurt let out a long sigh, before finally agreeing with the suggestion that had been offered.

“Fine. Fine, we’ll take a break for a while,” He answered. “And then later on, we can get back to working on the improvements to the songs more.”

Once Kurt had spoken, everyone moved once again. Dani reached to remove the guitar that was still draped by it’s strap over her shoulder, before finally moving it to settle it down against the wall so that it would be out of the way and wouldn’t topple over. As she did that Santana moved closer to her so that she could talk to her quietly enough without the others around the apartment hearing what she had to say. Kurt assumed that it was so she could share her irritation on how it was that he had been acting throughout the day to her girlfriend.

He decided to turn away from the group as everyone began to separate, in favour of heading towards where the section of the apartment that was his bedroom was curtained off so that he could have a few moments of privacy  just to think to himself. As he did so, he passed Rachel and Elliott talking lowly to each other from where Rachel had started pulling the other to one side by his arm. Kurt caught the odd brief murmured phrases from Rachel as the two of them spoke, picking up on her saying things like ‘he always says those sorts of things to me when he’s like this’ and ‘you should really talk to him’. Kurt hoped that Elliott would decide to do the exact opposite, opting to instead leave him alone. 

Once he reached his bedroom, Kurt let out another long, tired sigh, before deciding to sit down onto the bed. His shoulders, which had grown tense with his growing frustration that afternoon, ever so slowly began to relax as he breathed, and Kurt buried his face in his hands as he tried to push away the thoughts in his mind that we're busy scolding him for the harsh, rude things he had found himself saying as of late whenever it came to band practice.

Ever since Kurt had started up the band, and ever since he had decided that he wanted and had accepted Elliott into it as a member, Kurt found that his emotions hadn’t changed much from what they had been during Elliott’s rather memorable audition. It was like a different person took over him whenever he saw the other man perform or sing, and that person was full with the feelings and emotions of inadequacy and jealously. Kurt could never control it, and every time his mouth opened with bitter criticism and rude comments, he wished that he felt that there was some way he could just stop himself before he said them. 

He knew his actions weren’t only bothering himself, but that they were also affecting the other members of the group. His friends. Rachel, Santana, Dani -- all of them adored and celebrated Elliott’s talent, and Kurt knew that not one of them liked it whenever they were subjected to yet another grand argument starring Kurt Hummel and Elliott Gilbert during rehearsals. And although he knew a little competition and arguing could be a good thing for a band, even Kurt wasn’t naive enough to pretend that his and Elliott’s argument’s were all that healthy. He always wasn’t naive enough to ignore the fact that if things continued how they were, there probably wouldn’t  _be_  much of a band left eventually.

Kurt’s attempt at giving himself some space to think didn’t last as long as he hoped it would, as after he soon found himself interrupted by the rustling sound of his curtain moving, before it was followed by the sound of someone's voice.

“Okay, I think it’s time that we both talked.”

As soon as Kurt realised who it was that had spoken, he froze. The tension that had been leaving his body rushed back through it once more, and after a few moments of simply remaining where he was, Kurt finally moved from where it was that he was sitting to stand, turning himself around once he was up and on his feet so that he could face where Elliott was standing across from him in the small room. Elliott’s eyebrows were raised in a way that mirrored Kurt’s whenever he was waiting for someone to give him an answered, and Kurt first response was to slowly cross his arms across his chest.

“Talked about what?” He asked, trying hard not to think about too much about the way that his words sounded icy even to his own ears.

“Whatever your problem is with me.”

At Elliott’s words, Kurt raised an eyebrow of his own, watching him for a long moment before replying once again.

“You think I have a problem with you?”

“Why  _wouldn’t_ I think that?” Elliott immediately questioned. Kurt noticed the way that Elliott’s arms moved slightly, spreading slightly by his sides as if they would help Kurt to offer to answer his question properly. “Ever since you’ve decided to let me into this band, you’ve been at my case. You’ve criticised me for everything I do, how I act when I sing, the ideas I contribute to the group. We argue  _all_  the time, and half the time it’s over nothing of real importance. And when we’re not arguing, you find any fault you can to pick at and that you know can use to start an argument about! So tell me, please, what is  _your_   _problem?"_  

Kurt remained silent after hearing Elliott’s words, and Elliott seemed to take it to mean that he wasn’t going to respond to him. Kurt watched as Elliott rolled his eyes -- heavy with the black, ever so slightly sparkly makeup he applied that morning to darken and emphasise their colour -- and noticed the way that his arms fell back to his sides once again in what appeared to be a sort of defeat.

“You know, after that day that I tracked you down to talk to you at the restaurant you work at, I thought we were finally cool with each other. That you were cool with me. But it’s been  _a month_  since then, and each time we all meet together to practise, or to buy sheet music together, or to just to hang out as a group, you’re criticising me for something. And it really makes me wonder why you decided to let me into your group in the first place if you never really did appreciate me in the way that I thought you finally said you did. The way our friends do.”

“I do  _appreciate_ you,” Kurt shot back defensively. His response caused Elliott’s eyes to widen disbelievingly for a second, and Kurt watched as he let out a small little breath of laughter before he spoke once more. 

“No, you really,  _really_ don’t. And even if you did, you’d have a  _really_  funny way of showing it.”

“Well  _excuse me_ that I find it difficult to work alongside you,” Kurt replied, his voice rising slightly in volume. He no longer cared if the others in the apartment could hear them, instead he was too focused on the argument that he and Elliot were currently having with one another. 

“Difficult? You think  _I’m_  difficult to work with?” Elliott asked, pointing to himself for a moment before holding both his hands up in the air slightly in a surrender-type motion. “If I’m so difficult to work with, then  _maybe_  I shouldn’t be in the group at all. Maybe that way it would be easier for you to follow your own interpretation of songs instead of even attempting to work alongside mine!” 

“The fact that you’re so difficult to work with his absolutely nothing to do with your interpretation of anything!” Kurt said, moving forward slightly as his annoyance grew so that he was closer to Elliott. “I wasn’t lying that day at the restaurant when I told you that I wanted to surround myself around the best people I could find. Or that your talent blew any other competition that walked through those doors out of the water. It’s your  _vast talent_ however that’s the problem!”

A silence passed between the two of them then at Kurt’s outburst, and both Kurt and Elliott were standing closer than they had been before and watching each other’s expressions. As soon as Kurt realised what he had said his eyes grew slightly wider for a second, before he attempted to keep his expression neutral. Yet the way that his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat everytime he swallowed nervously gave away the anxiousness that he was holding back.

Elliott’s expression on the other hand had grown confused at hearing Kurt’s words. His brow had furrowed deeply, the creases there knitting together tightly. For a moment it seemed like he was lost for words, trying to work his mouth around them briefly, until finally he found that he was able to say something in response.

“My … talent is the problem?” He asked Kurt, voice heavy with bewilderment. Still watching him Elliott shook his head slightly, before continuing. “That doesn’t even make any  _sense_.” 

“Well it wouldn’t make any sense to  _you_ ,” Kurt answered back, his words defensive once more. 

Kurt stepped back from Elliott then, feeling something like a small wave of defeat wash over him. The back of his knees hit the side of his bed once again, and Kurt decided to sit upon it once more. He could feel the way that Elliott was still watching him intently, waiting for Kurt to explain his words more clearly, and after taking a moment to compose himself emotionally, Kurt started to speak once more.

“You have this -- this whole image about you,” He began, letting his hands move animatedly in a way to help him explain what it was he was trying to say. “The moment you walked into that audition -- I saw it. You know who you are, what it is that you want, and to top it all off, you’re confident. Impressively so. Intimidatingly so, even. And that’s  _before_  you even open your mouth to start singing.” 

Kurt paused then, letting himself frown slightly. He glanced at Elliott, noticing the way he was watching him still, before continuing with what it was he had to say. 

“The moment you start singing, that all multiplies. You’re talented, so much so that it took Santana less than three minutes to decide that you were good enough for her to associate herself with. And that’s a feat in itself.” Kurt moved his attention away from Elliott to his own hands then, trying not to seem weak by what it was that he had to say next, but at the same time not wanting to meet Elliott’s expression for fear of what he might see there. “Confidence and talent like that … it’s natural. Charisma like what you have is too. Put it all together, and you’re the perfect image for what I want my group to be. But then I look at myself in comparison, and I’m just…”

Kurt’s words drifted off, not wanting to finish them. He turned to look away, closing his eyes tightly and trying to fight the emotions that were fighting their way deep inside of himself to come out.

“Let me guess,” Elliott began, surprising Kurt as he spoke and the way that his words were softer than they had been only moments before. “You’ve spent your whole life up until now, fighting to be heard by others? To be seen by them? And then most of that time was still spent standing in the background of other people’s spotlight; the spotlight that they seem to have grabbed so effortlessly?”

Kurt’s attention turned back to Elliott again as he listened to the words he had just spoken, and his eyes were wide again in surprise at the truth that the spoke of.

“How did you know?” He asked, feeling no reason to hide the reality of how he’s always been feeling, ever since before he could really remember.

“ _Because_   _I was that kid too_ ,” Elliott replied. His words were spoken desperately, almost as if he wanted Kurt to understand the truth behind them more than anything in that moment. “ I grew up in New Jersey, Kurt. It wasn’t exactly the easiest place to be heard amongst the others. I don’t think anywhere is. I was the kid that always  _‘tried too hard’_  to get what they wanted. Why else do you think I auditioned for NYADA and failed to get in?” 

“You still do try too hard sometimes,” Kurt mumbled. His words then however held no malice within them, and instead were met by a small smile as he looked down at his hands and let out a small little breathless laugh.

“I guess that audition was pretty over the top, wasn’t it?” Elliott replied, the tone of his words letting Kurt know that he was just as entertained by the memory of when he had auditioned for the band as Kurt appeared to be.

Suddenly, Kurt felt the mattress of his bed dip slightly as Elliott sat down beside him, and he realised that Elliott tentatively moved ever so slightly so that he was sitting nearer to Kurt.

“You shouldn’t have to be intimidated by me. I don’t really think I  _am_  all that intimidating myself, honestly. The confidence is there because singing and the image I create for myself are both important to me, and things that I one day want the world to know me for, but beneath all that -- I’m not as confident as you probably think I am.” Elliott paused for a moment then, before speaking once more. “It -- actually took a lot of pep talking myself to try and find you again to see if you’d even give me a second chance at auditioning for your band.”

Kurt turned his attention from where they had been focused on his hands to look at where Elliott was sat beside him, shock evident in his expression at Elliott’s confession just then.

“It did  _not_.” He said, his words echoing the disbelief that he felt.

“Seriously. It really did,” Elliott replied, letting out a small little laugh as he bowed his head. Kurt couldn’t help but stare at him for a long moment, watching Elliott’s smile as he laughed to himself, and fighting the smile that was threatening to break across his own face at the sight. Elliott’s amusement soon calmed though, and eventually he was turning to look up at Kurt again, still smiling slightly at him. “You’re actually pretty intimidating yourself, believe it or not. And you’re just as confident and talented -- if not more so -- than I am. And before you even think of arguing that, just remember that _I_  was searching for a band to be in. But you?  _You_  were the one that had the confidence and ingenuity to think of putting one together for themselves as well as knowing exactly what it was that they wanted from it.” 

At Elliott’s words, Kurt finally did give in to the small smile that had been fighting it’s way to break free. He bowed his head himself for a quick moment, feeling ashamed of himself for how he’d been acting over the past month towards the person that was sitting beside him, when really all he should have done was taken the time to get to know Elliott better sooner. After a moment however, Kurt lifted his head, biting nervously at his bottom lip slightly as he looked back at Elliott again.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been treating you so terrible lately,” He finally said, feeling that he owed Elliott the long, overdue apology. “I can’t promise that I won’t envy your talent from now on, but I  _can_  promise that I won’t act so cruel towards you, or make you feel like your opinion isn’t valued in any way. And I can  _also_  promise you that I’ll take the time and make the effort to actually get to know you better, since that actually seems a lot more preferable for the both us than arguing all the time. That is -- as long as you still want to be a part of the group, of course.” 

At Kurt’s word’s Elliott’s smile broke out wide once more. Kurt could almost see the relief that left the other man, and at the same time he felt like a huge weight he hadn’t even realised that he’d been carrying around for the past month himself had finally been lifted from his shoulders, making it easier to breath somewhat. It was as if finally confronting the things between them both that they previously wouldn’t ever speak about out loud had cleared the air slightly between them, and Kurt could only hope that it was the beginning of a new, fresh start. Not just for the two of them, but for the members of the band as a whole, and the new, close friendships that were forming between them all. 

“As long as you treat me like an actual person and an equal member of the group from now on, then I’m sticking around,” Elliott replied, moving closer to Kurt slightly so that he could lightly bump their shoulders together. Kurt watched, before turning to look at Elliott directly once more, and giving him a genuinely happy smile.

“Well then." Kurt replied, letting in a deep breath and smiling wider as he did so. "You better have some of those brilliant ideas of yours to share with everyone later when we regroup. After I apologise to them all too for being so difficult to work with, I mean."

"You can bet on it," Elliott replied, and Kurt couldn't help but notice that Elliott's bright smile mirrored his own wide one.


End file.
